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Hazrat returned from the Hajj trip, everyone went to the airport, I also went, but did not go near and visited from a distance the luminous appearance of the traveler of Baitullah. Why I did not go near, or could not go, that mystery is still unknown to me. Even later when Hazrat asked, "Everyone went, why didn't you go?" Even then I could not tell my Hazrat that secret. I just said, Sir, I felt like I was part of your caravan in the world of imagination and fantasy.
Hearing this, Hazrat just smiled softly, and handed me some riyals and said, keep these with you, spend when it is time to spend.
Hadhrat brought me a black jubba on that trip, and I made a mistake. However, the mistakes made in Ishaq are forgiven. Forever it is forgiven, forever it will be forgiven. I told Hazrat that day, I would have been more happy if he had brought me a dress of Ihram. Hazrat said with a smile, I will give you my Ihram dress.
My respected Professor Hamidur Rahman said many times, Hazrat himself went to the shop and bought this black Jubba for me. I didn't understand then, now I think, maybe there was a hint of black gilaf in the black jubba.
Ahle gave those who are in their words and deeds many signs of heaven. Those with weak eyesight cannot perceive it. They cannot fathom the inner mystery. If I could, I would have treated that black Jubba differently. It was never lost on me. It was much later that I understood the mystery of the allusion of black to black and green to green. Then I brought a green veil from Madinah Sharif and a black veil from Makkah Sharif for my two daughters.
At that time, I realized that Allah brings forth a servant from the unseen by holding a book in my hand. In that book there were all the wonderful incidents of love and love of the travelers of Baitullah. I read each incident and felt a wave of emotions. A wave of tears wells up inside, and tears well up in the eyes. New mysteries of love and love are revealed, and I am disheartened by my own lowliness and inferiority. Alas! All these lovers of God's house who crossed all paths to reach God's house, I wish I could be the dust of their path!
An incident was like this - the Hajj caravan was going from Khorasan to the distant Hejazbhoomi. And the tour of that era was like that era. Trouble upon trouble and danger upon danger. Various disasters on the way and step by step. This is how the Hajid caravan had to move. There was a slave girl of a merchant in that caravan. No, I was wrong; She was the beloved servant of God. In love and love of Allah, his heart was unyielding, unyielding. When the caravan stopped at various places on the way, the maidservant of God gazed wistfully at the vast desert. Where, and how far is the house of God! As the caravan advances, as the house of God approaches, the restlessness and anxiety of the maidservant's heart increases. The heat of the desert sand, and the heat of his heart become one.
After a long journey, the caravan finally entered the city of Makkah and slowly approached Masjid al-Haram. Allah's maid is absolutely 'Majnu Diwana'! The chest should break, the flask should burst. The same question with his anxious gaze, Where! Where is my mother's house! Everyone in the caravan is harassed. The condition of the maid then Bilkul Lobejan! Finally, the negro maid was shown the house of God covered with a black gilaf. And he just gave a shout, I have seen, I have seen the house of my God! I have found, my God I have found! Then? What happened then? The maidservant of Allah prostrated herself in front of the House of Allah and became still. The dream of the maid of God was fulfilled, not one, but two; Dream of union with the owner of the house and the house.
Another incident is from Hindustan of that era. The ships of the fleet are crossing the sea with pilgrims. Day after day, week after week passed in the ocean. It is not possible to imagine now how terrible the voyages were in those days. In a word, it was to leave the illusion of life and jump into the face of death yearning for the illusion of the giver of life. But those who love the house of God, those who are crazy about God's love, without caring about life and death, they used to cross the sea like this. One day there was a storm in the sea, waves like mountains were created, the ship broke into pieces. Death was certain for every passenger. At such a time, a drowning passenger, not in fear of death, but in fear of deprivation, prayed to Allah like this - 'Not before visiting your house, O Allah!
He is no longer conscious, and when he regains consciousness he is alone on a deserted island. Three years later an unseen force brought him to Makkah, the 'house' of Allah. How? It is not written in the book, it is only said that after Hajj, his journey started again by sea. When the ship reached the place where the ship sank, he stood on the edge of the ship and began to show others, here, right here our ship sank. And then.... no one knows how, he fell overboard. He died by drowning in the water of the sea, but not before visiting the house of Allah, but after, as he pleaded with Allah. This is how Allah treats His servants. The burden of your sins on the head! Don't despair. If you can ask like you want, you can get a lot. Calls come from this door day and night. Come, O righteous, come, sinners, plunder my treasure.
In that book there were many more incidents of worshiping God's house by the devotees who were devoted to the love of God. Every event stirs the heart, awakens the mind and enlivens the soul. I can't tell you how many times I read this book from cover to cover. I can only say, through this book, the cherished dream of my heart crossed childhood and adolescence and gained new charm and beauty in youth today. I realized anew in my heart, in the lake of my dreams. The author of this book, may Allah grant him peace, in the grave, in the dead and in the canals of Paradise, in the canals of milk, in the canals of sweetness.
When fortune falls from the sky, it falls. At this time, another luck fell into my hands. Hazrat Maulana Syed Abul Hasan Ali Nadvi. I found the book Arkane Arbaa written by him. The irrigation required to keep the dream green and alive was the second stage. What is the reality and spirituality of Hajj, I did not understand before, I do not have the courage to say. But this book seems to remove many veils of the heart and give the heart a new light, a brighter and brighter light. I am moved, inspired and enlivened with a new consciousness, which cannot be expressed in the words of the mouth, but in the feelings of the heart. As if I had drowned, lost and sunk in that ocean where drowning is peace, lost is attainment and drowning is liberation - to whom God has mercy.
Then I got a third book, Maulana Abdul Majeed Darayabadi's 'Hijaz Safarnama.' It was a special gift from Allah. And when Allah gives, He gives with grace. But people keep looking for reasons. His aim is lost in the riddle of occasion. So I won't tell the occasion of getting the book here, I will just say that it was the third and final stage of realizing my childhood dream.