After 1st page
Abba was already a good man; As if he returned from the house of Allah as a 'good man'. There is a wonderful radiance in his whole being, like the fragrance of black gilt and the fragrance of green domes. In that brightness, in that fragrance and fragrance, my soul was so illuminated and perfumed, as if I myself had returned from Mecca and Medina with the beauty of black and green.
I got the water of jam jam, I got the dates of Madinah Sharif, and I got a book of Daskhand, the gift of Makkah and Madinah from Abba.
The stories of Makkah-Madinah and the events of Mina-Arafa were narrated by Abba with such passion that everything seemed alive before my eyes. The dream cherished in the heart was given new life. I yearned anew and prayed fervently that my dream would be successful, that I would not die before the Deedar of Kabatullah and the Ziarat of Rawatunnabir.
A few more days passed like this. The restlessness of my dreams, the restlessness of my heart and the longing of my soul increased day by day. A house which I have never seen, but which I approach five times a day, the longing to see with my eyes and feel the soft touch of the black envelope of that house.
A city that I have never seen, but in the heart of my heart I love the city more than my native land, I yearn to gaze at the rosy eyes of the dusty city and surrender myself to the green glory of Rawza Sharif; This was my day and night and morning and evening.
Those were the dearest days of the sweet pain of grief. I used to comfort myself by saying, no matter how far away, there is the house of God covered with black shroud! I can be from here to the direction of the house! He is the convergence of the house! Every day from the sky, as much mercy is given to that house, I want to be a part of it from here!
No matter how far away is the golden Medina, under the green dome is the Guava Prophet's feast! I can also send Durood and Salam Nazrana from here. The fountain of light and enlightenment originates from there, I can see it from here as well! Because those who attend any mosque in any corner of the world, they are also attending Masjidul Haram! They are Masjidunnabir Mushallian! If there is affection in the heart and longing in the heart; If there is a longing for Ishq in the chest and a desire for love in the chest.
But the tide of Ishq's pleasure and love was sometimes so strong that all comfort was washed away and the restlessness of pain overwhelmed everything. In the words of a Western poet, the more warm wine you drink in the wine-bath / The more intense your love thirsts / Stop the bath, leave the wine / Come wander to the lonely lane of love. Taking the advice of the beloved poet, I used to go to a distant secluded mosque. The solitude of God's house used to bring a wonderful cool touch of tranquility to the troubled heart. At that time, there was a different kind of comfort and relaxation. Maybe it would be better if these words were stored in the secret store of the heart, but the words all fell from the fountain of the pen, and it seemed that those who are still cherishing the pain of incomplete dreams deep in their hearts, maybe they will get some comfort from my words. Because the warmth of one restless heart can be a cold blanket of tranquility to another.
One day when the troubled heart no longer listens to any consolation and when the pereshan kalab does not listen to any more consolation, I appeared at Paharpuri Huzur's service late at night. He didn't have to say anything. Those who have a heart don't have to say anything. They can feel the pain of the heart through the heart. He felt my heartache and comforted me with words that were new and unheard of to me. In all my life's experience, there is no match for this beloved man in comforting a broken heart. Even in his last life, I saw Hazrat Hafezzi Huzoor, when he was restless in hostile situations, when he was wounded by 'close blows', he would seek solace and get solace from this man.
Huzoor consoled me and said, when the time is approaching the pain is intense, but the more one can accept the pain of separation the more one can taste the taste of reconciliation. So the pain of grief is the comfort of this path!
He then recited the plight of some of the Akabireen, who cherished the lifelong dream of Deeder Baitullah and Ziarat Madinah. But they have passed from this life to that life with the pain of incomplete dreams. However, despite the pain of grief, they were never deprived of the taste and dignity of Ishq and Muhabbat. Jaddu remembers that day he also told Mujaddid the incident of Afe Chaani Rah.
A few more days passed, 1400 Hijri 29 Zilqad Hazrat Hafezzi Huzoor became my 'Dada' and departed for the house of Allah on the first Zil Hajj. Surprise! May Allah always fulfill the wishes of his guava servant. He used to intend to perform Hajj, body-health and environment-conditions may be unfavorable, but all arrangements were made from unseen and he would leave for Hajj on time.
At the farewell meeting of the service, he said something that brought tears to his eyes. Everyone thinks that perhaps Hazrat will not come back, maybe this visit is his visit to the hereafter. Then it was the turn of the young people like us to be surprised. He said with a soft smile on his face, 'Why are you upset? I have not yet intended to die.
The intention of death! Subhanallah! So what is the relationship between death and the intention of the servant of Allah, he will intend the house of Allah, and Allah will fulfill it, what is surprising in that!
Hazrat called me to his room the night before the trip. I was surprised, and never received such a call! I went and sat near. Hazrat looked at me with a smile. Oh, how can I explain to those who have not seen her, what was the beauty of that smile and the softness of that look. Smile is not like a glimpse of light! Vision is not like the dew of mercy! Let the body be drenched in it, the heart be filled with it. Hazrat gave me some gift, and said, keep it as your marriage gift from me, for the purpose of Hajj.
My eyes twinkled with joy. Gratefully I accepted Hazrat's 'gift'. But as I did wrong address in my childhood, I didn't do it this time. I went straight to the mosque. There was no one, there was me, there was my God. I prayed two rakats and stretched out my hands and said in an emotional voice, "Allah, don't take me into your house!" Then the tide of tears came to both eyes. And when the tide of tears comes The filth of sin is swept away, The heart is clear and pure. Prayers and supplications are then full of supplication. I also had other requests and requests and other requests and pleas in that day's prayer. On that day, God gave this assurance to my broken heart, the servant will come! You must come to my house! I thanked Allah that He had given me permission to make such a dua.
Human imagination is God's greatest gift. With the help of imagination, people can go back to the childhood of the past; It can even wander into the realm of the future. In a moment of imagination he can go far away to the presence of his beloved people and the touch of his beloved land. Barriers can hold back your earthen body, this inanimate being of yours; But your heart and soul are uninhibited. So even from the bazaar you can stay in the mosque and get the shade of the throne on Roz Hashr.
On the way back from the campaign of Tabuk, the Prophet of God said, Some people remained in Madinah who were with us on every road, in every valley on this journey, various compulsions kept them (bodies) in Madinah. It is the charisma of human imagination to accompany Tabuk on his journey from Madinah and to accompany him in every path and valley.
That's why a diwana who did not know Azam's name was able to say-
You see, I am sitting in the garden of Iran
Wrong, wrong, I'm in Medina! In the shade of palm trees!
Hazrat Hafezzi Huzoor left for the house of Allah, and I remained in a state of confinement in distant Bangladesh. But thanks to Allah, only this body was bound in the net of compulsion. My heart flew on the wings of my imagination to the Hijaz land. It was as if I was also involved in walking the path of Hazrat's caravan. As if my being had circumambulated the House of Allah with Hazrat, stayed in the Maidan of Arafah and in the tabernacle of the Minar. It is as if my soul traveled on the way to Madinah by riding the horse of Ishaq and offering Nazrana of Salam in Rawza Sharif while standing behind Hazrat. The taste and joy of imagination and the dignity and grace of تصور may have been the first time Allah bestowed upon me. Thanks Alhamdulillah.